Fun at the Entebbe Zoo with Friends

Entebbe Zoo

Entebbe, Uganda

(Be sure to watch the video of the chimps at the end. They put on quite a show! ;-)  )

Ewwww!

The Legal Process of Getting Asher and Meeting His Bio Family

Asher's Court date was on Thursday, March 14th. (This was to obtain Legal Guardianship of him there in Uganda, then we finalize the adoption here in the States.) We showed up around 8 that morning but were not called until about 11. While we waited in the crowded waiting area, we passed the time with snacks, taking walks, and looking out the windows of the court house (which are open & have no screens, by the way - yikes!). This was rather difficult for Asher, being a toddler - and poor Steve was burning up in his suit.

Asher's father died when his mother was 3 months pregnant with him and his sweet mother was trying to raise him and his 4 other siblings, but it was just too much for her. She had no income and was not able to provide for him adequately. He was taken to the babies home in October 2012, then we were matched with him in November. It was so bittersweet meeting her at Court. She's such a beautiful young woman but I could also see so much pain in her eyes. I broke down crying when I first saw her because I felt so bad taking Asher away from her. She speaks very little English so she asked the director of the babies home why I was upset. The director told her and she just smiled a big smile and said (in her language), "Oh, please tell her not to cry! This is what I want. This makes me so very happy. I am not able to provide for Muhamad but now he has a family that can. And now we are sisters! I love you so much!" Sigh. More tears ;-)

So our actual court proceeding could have gone better but you just never know what to expect there. Most everything went well but the judge wanted to know how the father died so we had to hire a Private Investigator to travel 9 hours away to find out how he died. The PI came back and reported to the judge that he committed suicide. This did not satisfy the judge. Now he wanted to know WHY he committed suicide. So the PI had to travel even further to an island off the coast of Uganda to ask his workmates (fisherman) why he took his own life. It's a very sad story and I don't mean to make light of it, but this took an entire month of waiting which was very frustrating for our family.

We finally received our verbal ruling on Monday, April 15th. You first get your verbal ruling, then you wait some more for your guardianship court order, then your written ruling, which all about a week later. During this period of waiting, Asher's bio mother had to come back to sign some paperwork in order for us to receive our written ruling. She brought her youngest daughter with her who is about 4 years old. Again - we were so happy to meet her but the guilt feelings came back again. But Asher's bio mother was all smiles and kept telling me how happy she was that he was in our family. Sigh. More tears.

I'm pictured here with Asher, his mother, and sister, and our UG attorney

They ended up needing a place to stay that night since they travelled 9 hours and our guest house just happened to have a room available so they stayed there. We couldn't really communicate but she held my hand often and her smile never left her face. She loved watching Asher playing with our girls and we had a nice time eating together and sitting outside watching the children play. She was so precious and would often call us during our stay in Uganda. She would say in broken English, "Christy, my sister! I love you so much!" I do have 4 sisters here in the States but now I can say I have one in Uganda, too ;-)

Once we received our verbal ruling, we were able to begin the passport process which typically takes anywhere from 2-5 weeks. Thankfully, our attorney's assistant was able to help us with that and we were able to get it in about 5 days. The immigration office is not a fun place to go and hang out. In fact, we've been warned by several Ugandans to not go unless you have to. Muzungos (white people) just stand out there and for some reason most of the workers there do not like international adoption so they are very rude to adopting families. They often times "loose files" or they get placed on the bottom of a stack - somehow never moving to the top. I've heard several adoptive parents liken it to a "concentration camp" because there are so many people there compacted tightly together and you're constantly being yelled at to "move!" And there's no such thing as standing in a line and taking turns. We have one friend that went to check on her children's passports and they yelled at her because she had her children with her. They told her to not bring her kids there ever again. But then Steve went to check on our passport one day and they yelled at him because they wanted to see the child we were adopting. It's such a contradiction and rules seem to change daily - even by the minute.

Asher found plenty of rocks to preoccupy his time.

So many people waiting

Waiting for our name to be called

We were so very thankful to receive our passport when it finally came. I was at the Immigration Office with Steve & Asher. They yelled at us and gave us a hard time then put Asher's passport book at the bottom of a stack of passports when we were supposed to be next. Our patience was wearing thin but you can't say anything because they might "accidentally" loose your passport or file. So you grin and bare it. As soon as we got Asher's passport, Steve caught a boda boda (motorcycle ride) to the US Embassy to show them we did receive it then to request an exit interview. This was on Friday, April 19th and the Embassy closed at 11 that morning so he had to hurry fast! He made it just in time then our interview was scheduled for the following Monday at 3. Typically it takes 2 business days to receive the visa (if the interview went well), but our flight home was leaving the following evening at midnight. Thankfully our interview went well & they expedited the visa so we would not have to change our flight again. (We were originally scheduled to leave for home on Thursday, April 18th.)

So we were gone for 8 weeks - we arrived 2 weeks before court to visit Calo Me Lare in Lira and to have bonding time with Asher before court. Then the next 6 of weeks were part of the Legal Guardianship process. What an ordeal but so worth it!

Guest House Pics

After we got temporary custody of Asher, we had to leave Jinja and travel about 2 hours west to Kampala, the capitol of Uganda, because everything else we had to do for our adoption process was to be held there. We were fortunate to stay at an amazing guest house for adoptive families called "Alirikos", a.k.a. "Herb and Ellen's". It was such a blessing to stay there with other families going through the same process and all of our meals and laundry were included in the price. Good thing because I would not know how to cook for our family while in Uganda!

And the food was so good there! The head chef is Harriet Ssanyu and she has even written a cookbook that can be found here. We have tried the banana muffins recipe but hope to try more soon - especially the chipati recipe which our family especially loved when she made that. ;-)  Some of you may have noticed I've posted on facebook some jewelry pieces I brought back with me to sell. Well, the money from those items goes to pay her children's school fees - so, thank you! ;-)

Here's a few pics from our stay...

The grounds were so beautiful & had amazing views. The kids had so much fun playing in the grass & riding the little trikes up and down the driveway.

This is our first room at the guest house. The kids and I stayed here until a larger room was available for our entire family to fit in, which was about 2 1/2 weeks later. Steve stayed in his own single room diagonal from us. I think he secretly liked his quiet time alone ;-)

Damask sheets in Uganda?! How did they know that's one of my favorite patterns?! ;-)

This is the larger room we moved into. Lots of storage space & it was so nice to unpack and not live out of suitcases for a while!

Our nightly routine consisted of eating Oreo cookies & watching an Andy Griffith before bedtime ;-)

This large painting was at the halfway point on the stairway leading up to our room. Asher loved to stop and look at it every time we walked by.

We loved our balcony and spent many, many hours on it...

This is one of Asher's little buddies being adopted from the same babies home. They are comparing bellies to see whose is the biggest ;-)

The last night at our guest house, Harriet made a special celebration dinner because 3 of the families would be leaving to go home within the next few days. Always a happy time when a family left to go home!

At maximum capacity, the guest house could hold about 6 families. It was such a blessing to be there with others going through the same process. We were able to share in each others praises and pray for each others struggles. I was so humbled and amazed at the other families and the stories of the kids they are adopting. Here are just a few of the ones we met during our stay...

- A dad was there for one night while picking up his adopted son. His family was in UG a few months ago adopting their little guy but when it came to their visa, the US Embassy wanted to look further into their case and sent it on to Nairobi. (Very few cases get sent there but Nairobi is a higher court and questionable cases are reviewed there.) So their 2 year old son had to be returned to his orphanage and the family had to go back home to the states and wait. They were told it could take up to 6 months! A month later Nairobi contacted them, apologized that their case was ever sent to them because it shouldn't have been, and told them they could return to pick up their son.

- Another family was adopting a baby that was sick a few months ago. He was taken to the hospital and needed an IV inserted. The medical staff was not able to place it in his arms or legs so they put it in his head. This caused a horrible infection which later turned into gangrene. The top half of his head doesn't have hair because of the surgeries and skin grafts that has been performed on him. The adoptive parents were anxious to get him home to the states so they could seek out good medical care for their baby.

- One little boy was believed to have been rescued just in time from being sacrificed. Yes, that practice still goes on in Uganda today.

- Another little boy had sickle cell and needed good medical care in the states.

- Another family was there adopting a 15 year old boy. Children who turn 16 are no longer adoptable in UG. He turns 16 soon so the adoptive parents were hoping their case moves along quickly.

- Another family was adopting a 5 month old baby. He and his twin sister were dropped down the toilet after birth. His sister did not survive. He now has medical issues but with good care will do great. He's such a miracle baby!

There are so many stories such as these all around the world - even in the States. Adoption and foster care isn't for everyone, but I pray that anyone that has love to share in their family would please consider it. I know many think it would require a huge life change - and maybe it would. But I also think about the alternatives for all the kids in the cases listed above. The possibility of living in an orphanage the rest of their lives. The possibility of never thriving. The possibility of health worsening or even death. I'm pretty sure it's a blessing you'll never regret, as we are learning now ;-)